thoughts

Managing The Many Thoughts Of ADHD

Day 22: The Model

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I’ve introduced you to the tool called The Model. Today let’s pull together all of the pieces of it.

It’s a tool that you can use to observe and manage the many thoughts that come along with having an adhd brain.

Here’s how that would work. Set a timer and empty everything that you’re thinking onto a piece of paper. It can be topic specific brain dump or just a general one of #allthethoughts.

Once you have all of your thoughts there laid out on a piece of paper, you’ll want to choose a few that stand out to you and run a model on each one.

I’ve gone over each part of The Model in seperate blog posts that are linked below.

Step one is all about our Circumstances. What is happening around us? The facts of the matter. Circumstances are often out of our control.

Step two of The Model are the thoughts that we think about our circumstances. One word sentences in our minds. Our opinion of things. What we think about things.

Our thoughts then create feelings in our body. Sensations or vibrations that we feel because of our thoughts. Step three is all about feeling our feelings.

How we feel drives us into action or keeps us in inaction (doing nothing). Step four focuses on the things that we do or don’t do. Our Actions.

Ultimately our actions create our results. Step five of the model is to look at the results that we’re creating and decide if they’re what we want our results to be.

You can dive deeper into the 5 components of The Model by clicking on the links above.

To summarize, here’s how they all fit together.

Circumstances are all around us. They are factual and everyone in the world would agree on them.

Thoughts are what we choose to think about a circumstance.

Thoughts cause us to feel a certain way (a one word feeling).

Feelings drive us into action or inaction.

Our actions (or lack of action) creates the results that we have in our lives.

Our result in a model will always prove our thought in that same model to be true.

If you’d like to learn how to do this live and in person, be sure to sign up to receive my Free Guide Top 5 Ways to Calm Your Mind and Create Forward Motion.

I’ll be sending out an email invitation to a class I’m teaching online on exactly how to do this for yourself.

~Shaun


What Do ADHD And Negative Thinking Have To Do With The TV Show Catfish?

Day 9: Negative Thinking

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The Urban Dictionary defines the term Catfish as:

“Someone who pretends to be someone else, especially on the internet.”

Have you ever seen the tv show Catfish?

In it MTV and the shows producers try to help people determine if the person that they have been “virtually dating” are real (meaning truthful and honest about who they are) or a “catfish” (someone pretending to be one way online, but in reality are completely different).

I remember being sucked into this show for a minute. It felt entertaining. I was always drawn in by the facade that was presented, and how completely differnt reality sometimes was.

What does this have to do with ADHD you ask? I think the key word is sneaky. Catfish’s are sneaky. They fool people into believing something that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

When we have ADHD tendencies there can be a lot of thoughts. A lot of negative thoughts. These thoughts can often sound pretty.

Thoughts like:

  • “I’ll start tomorrow.”

This thought sets you up to procrastinate. One of the primary things that we struggle with when we have adhd is putting things off. Keep in mind, while you may not feel like doing something today, anything that can be done today that will move you closer to your goal will help. Why wait?

  • “I do better when I multi-task.”

This can feel true sometimes. The truth is, none of us do better when we multi-task. Things take longer to accomplish because we are stopping and starting and needing to get back up to our rhythm each time we switch our focus. Telling yourself this just makes you feel better in the moment, but can hurt you in the long run.

  • “Some of my best work happens in the final hours.”

A hard deadline can be helpful in pushing (forcing) you to get something done. Why? Because there’s no other option. It does not mean it’s your best work. What if you created the sense of urgency ahead of time, on the front end? You would then have time in the final hours to review and make any changes. You’d also release a lot of the stress that comes with butting up against a deadline.

  • “I’m a sprinter not a marathoner.”

This sounds fancy. It sounds well thought out. What if it was just an excuse to accommodate your current work style? A way to accomodate a work style that isn’t helping you reach your goals? It sounds like a pretty thought, but is anything but pretty. It can actually hold you back.

  • “Friends and family always come first.”

Again, this sounds so nice. But what if by always being available for others, you are never available for yourself? Never showing up for yourself the way you show up for others. What if that’s what’s required for you to become a better version of yourself?

Thoughts that are negative often can sound pretty. It’s our brains way of keeping us the same. Maintaining the status quo. I’ve coined a term for this. I call it thoughtfishing. When our negative thoughts pretend to be pretty. It’s harmful because it feels good in the moment, but ultimately keeps us from reaching our dreams.

Tell me, have you experienced this? What is your go to thoughtfish? ~Shaun

The Magic Art of Managing Your Mind

Day 15: Mind Management

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Which comes first the chicken or the egg?

Do feelings happen to us or do we create how we feel by what we think?

For a minute, pretend with me that we have complete control over how we think.

What I mean is, there are situations or scenarios that happen in life, we then have thoughts about them (based on our unique life experiences), and our thoughts generate feelings in our body.

Now let’s take it a step further and really play this out.

Imagine you are in Vegas at a magic show. The magician (me) is 100% convinced that how you feel and act is 100% controlled by your brain (not by outer circumstances).

I’m going to prove it to you during my show, by hypnotizing you and “talking” to the part of your brain that regulates emotions, feelings and thoughts.

I tell you that after snapping my fingers and counting backwards from 5, you will be hypnotized. Able to hear my voice, but only one part of your brain will be actively engaged. The part that regulates emotions, feelings and thoughts.

I then tell you that I am going to describe 3 different scenarios and each time I do, I will hold up various “feeling” signs, and you are going to scan for that feeling in your body. If you feel it, you’ll raise your hand, and I’ll then ask you what you’re thinking and for you to share your thoughts with us.

Ok, here we go. Pretend with me that you’re now hypnotized and a part of the show.

Scenario one:

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1… I want you to imagine we’re nearing the end of our show, when suddenly a fire breaks out backstage. You’re all firefighters. ”

I hold up a card that says Brave and some of you raise your hands and share thoughts like “I’m trained for this. Don’t worry, I’ll save us. I’ve rescued someone from a fire before.”

Next I hold up a card that says Confident and some of you share thoughts like “I’ve got this. I’m the right person for this job. Nobody works better under pressure than me.”

Finally, I hold up a card that says Terrified and a few of you share the thoughts “What am I even doing here? This is bad. We’re going to die!”

Scenario two:

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1…next scenario. We’re all at a Broadway musical together and the lead singer injures themselves during scene 3. We’ll all be stuck in this theater together forever unless the entire show is complete.”

I hold up a card that says Capable and some of you share thoughts like “The show must go on! I’ll do my best to take their place and finish the show. This could be fun.”

Next I hold up the card that says Distracted and a few of you share the thought “This show was boring anyway. I wonder what’s happening outside of the theater? When are we going to eat?”

Finally, I hold up the card that says Excited and a couple of you share the thoughts “I’ve always wanted to act on the big stage! This may be my big break! I wonder who might discover me!”

Scenario three:

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1…next scenario. The fire is under control and the show is over. You are all detectives and are tasked with figuring out what happened. Who set the fire and how did the lead actress get injured?”

I hold up the card that says Curious and some of you raise your hands and share thoughts like “I wonder where the fire started and who was backstage at that time. Could there be a connection between the actress getting injured and the fire?”

Next I hold up the card that says Determined and some of you share that you’re thinking “I’m going to ask questions until I get to the bottom of this. I’ll figure this out no matter what.”

Finally, I hold up the card that says Exhausted and a few of you think “Just what I need, another open case. I’ve got too many that I’m working on already. I’m so tired.”

“Now I’m going to count backwards from 10 and you’re all going to slowly come back to the present, using all parts of your brain. You’ll hold on to the belief that you can create your feelings with your mind.

Wait, what if you really can create feelings with your mind?

What if what you chose to think determines how you feel?

What if setting down feelings of distraction, boredom, overwhelm, worry, confusion becomes easier when we notice what we’re thinking when we feel those things?

What if rather than make it mean our brains are broken, or doing their own things and running the show, we just made it mean our brain was normal and just needed a baby sitter. Someone in charge.

As humans, we have the ability to think about what we think about. We can decide if a thought is serving us. If it’s making us feel the way we want to feel.

If a particular feeling isn’t working for us, we can change it. By thinking something different.

We often think we need to DO something different to feel better. It starts with THINKING something different.

Once we think differently, we’ll feel differently and can DO differently from there.

If you have any interest in learning how this is done, join me for my next free lunch and learn webinar on May 29th at 12 Noon PST.

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