Day 1: Indecision
How decisive are you?
Answer that question right now in your mind.
Most of the time, when it comes to making a decision I hear people say:
I don't know what I want.
I'm not sure what to do.
It's hard for me to choose. It doesn't really matter to me.
I'll just wait and see what happens.
What's meant to be will be.
If it's God's will...
I don't know what I like.
I used to say some of these things. I used to see myself as a chameleon. I could adapt to whatever the other person decided, and for the most part be happy.
I was "easy" and "flexible". I was also afraid.
Afraid of seeming weird. Afraid of rocking the boat.
I was "accommodating" and "down for anything". I was also undervaluing myself, my opinion.
It sounds so silly to me now. Why didn't I take a little time to figure out what it was that I actually wanted? What it was that I actually liked? What my preferences were? Who I was?
The past year or so I've practiced making strong decisions.
What do I mean by that? I made a list of things that I liked. Things I wanted to do. Restaurants to try.
When someone asked my opinion I gave it. Honestly.
I decided to not spend a lot of time making a decision, but rather to decide and then stick to it. Have my own back. Not waiver. I decided on purpose to like my reason.
If I want to take a course I set a time to consider it, decide and then don't look back.
The more I've done this, the easier it's become. It showed up in a funny way this past weekend.
My husband and I were cleaning out the garage. We are downsizing and preparing our house to list. As we were going through piles of stuff collected over the years, I found myself thinking:
Do I love this? Yes, it'd go to the keep pile. No, I'd go to question #2.
Can someone use this? Yes, it'd go to the American Cancer Society pile. No, I'd go to question #3.
Is this broken or trash? I'd pitch it.
This process was fast. I was sorting and piling in less than a minute or so for each item.
Every now and then my husband, who typically has very strong opinions, would ask me "Should we keep this?" and it would be like a bottle of cleaner that was 5 years old, or some old electronic equipment (cd player anyone?)
I found myself getting irritated. I had worked so hard to get efficient at making decisions and here he was asking me about things that really could have all been pitched in the trash.
I finally said to him in a lighthearted voice "Look, you have my permission to make a strong decision and just do it. We don't need to have a team effort for this stuff."
He got the hint and we moved on.
For the first time I noticed what making strong decisions has done for me. It's given me some time back. The less time I spend in indecision, the more time I have to spend on things and people that are important to me.
In fact, making strong decisions has morphed into a 4 day work week for me. I've tightened up my decisions M-Th, so that I can take Fridays off.
How fun is that?!
Being indecisive ultimately costs us time.
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