Deciding to See ADHD Tendencies in a Positive Light

Core Desired Feelings

Back in 2016, fresh off of a Danielle LaPorte exercise, I determined my top 5 Core Desired Feelings, or CDFs. I spent a chunk of time doing the work to figure out exactly how I wanted to feel most of the time. Once I settled on 5, I set them as my intention for the year and went off on my merry way. 

Fast forward to the end of 2017 and as I reflect back on my accomplishments and growth these past few years, I can't help but take another look at my CDFs from 2 years ago. They have not steered me wrong.

In fact, if I were to choose all over again, I would pick the same feelings. What this tells me is that while my circumstances have changed quite a bit, I'm still choosing things that help me feel Genuine, Eclectic, Adventuresome, Resourceful and Captivated. 

As someone with ADHD tendencies, I believe tendencies themselves are neutral. Not positive or negative. These tendencies are not positive or negative until I have a thought about them. (A lot of that has to do with the thought work that I've done in Brooke Castillo's Self Coaching Scholars program.)

Oftentimes, people that don't understand ADHD or ADHD tendencies, how the brain is wired, and how brain chemicals play a part in our everyday actions, will see these tendencies as negative and label them as such. I chose instead to embrace some of my tendencies and flip them on their head.

To think of them as positive qualities.

Here's what I mean: 

Tendency

Direct/No filter

Many interests

Risk Taker

Jack of All Trades

Hyper-focus

Negative Version

Insensitive/Awkward

Flighty/Scattered

Wild

Know-it-all

Selfish
 

Positive Version

Genuine

Eclectic

Adventuresome

Resourceful

Captivated

I had always viewed my "tendencies" through a negative lens. If only I could change them!

Instead, in 2016 I looked at each of those neutral tendencies and searched for ways that they contributed to my life. I paid attention to how I wanted to feel when those tendencies were happening. I chose positive descriptors and claimed them like badges of honors.

I also decided that I didn't want to wait for some big occurance to happen or my circumstances to change in order to feel my desired feelings. I wanted to make choices daily that allowed me to feel genuine, eclectic, adventuresome, resourceful and captivated.

I'm not waiting for one big adventure to occur to make me feel adventuresome, I choose a little bit of adventure each day and feel it now. I won't wait for a client or boss to tell me I'm resourceful in order to feel resourceful, I do and think things every day that make me feel it now. I don't need proof from others that they believe I am genuine, I think of myself as genuine now. I don't need a personality quiz to tell me that I'm eclectic, my interests are varied and I choose to think that makes me eclectic (not scattered) and I feel eclectic now. When I truly love and enjoy something I can stay focused on it for hours (sometimes at the detriment of other things), I choose to see this as a positive quality, and feel captivated by whatever it is that currently has my attention.

Tell me about you. How do you want to feel this year? What tendencies do you have? What negative labels do you want to shake? 

Knowing these things can help you set your goals.  

2018 is on it's way. There's no time like the present!