Wanting More When You Already Have Enough

Day 12: Wanting

B4BFC3AF-6FF7-420E-83A8-3B6A8E32B30D.jpeg

Life's pretty good, I really don't have much to complain about.

My husband and I were in Starbucks one morning not too long ago, and while waiting in line we started chatting with the people around us. We were all talking about how the design of the location had recently changed and it's not as "user friendly" as it used to be. 

The layout is not as nice as it used to be.

The chairs are not as comfy.

The line wiggles through the middle of the seating area.

It just feels less welcoming.

Then we realized it was 11:05am, and they throw out the Blonde roast at 11am!
Oh no! My hubby and another woman next to us both panicked. Now what?! They were both there for the Blonde.

I glanced down to notice that I had chipped a nail (they had been done like 3 days before) and a button had fallen off my coat.

In that moment I laughed out loud, shaking my head and said "first world problems"...as much for me as for anyone. Truly, I have nothing to complain about. Really.

I remember exactly 12 years ago, on 2/27/07 my mom passed away. It was a difficult time for me. She and I had some sweet conversations and during one of them she expressed just how much she wanted just even one more day to spend with us. One more day to spend time with her grandchildren. It was the hardest part of knowing that she was dying.

From that conversation, I decided whenever I was feeling sorry for myself or wanting to complain, I'd remind myself that "somebody somewhere was taking their last breath." It was a reminder to appreciate what I had, and to remind me that there was always someone going through something much worse. 

I was given the gift of ongoing gratitude.

Looking back over the past 12 years, there were definitely times that little reminder came in handy. Times when it really didn't serve me to stay down in the doldrums. 

BUT,

and this is a big but. I also believe that life doesn't have to be awful for you to want more out of it. 

I believe that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made, and sent here with a purpose. If we have things in life that are preventing us from becoming fully who we are meant to be, we owe it to ourselves to explore those things and move those obstacles out of the way.

We are given this one life and we get one chance at living it.

If fear, confusion, procrastination or something that you're not even clear about is holding you back, and preventing you from becoming who you want to be, or from accomplishing what you want to accomplish, it doesn't have to be that way.

I remember when I found my way to my first coach, my primary thought was "I don't know if I even know what a typical day feels like for most people. I want to talk to someone about that." 

I literally told my first coach "I don't even know why I'm here, I just want more."

It felt important. I just wanted some clarity.

I reached out to someone. Booked a free consultation and I've been doing the work on myself ever since.

What I love about that is that as I continue to grow, I'm able to help more and more people. 

By showing up for myself first, I'm able to show up for others.

There is nothing that I would ask of a client that I wouldn't ask of myself.

Wanting, what is it that you want just because you want it?

What are you missing out on by letting that slide by?

Why Having ADHD Can Make You Feel Like You’re Broken

Day 11: Broken

5222BB24-8A55-4EDE-AD47-E9DBA6255223.jpeg

I've talked to a lot of people.

On consults, in coaching sessions.

The most common question that people don't ask is,

but what if I'm broken?

What if my brain's broken?

What if coaching won't help me?

What if I'm just too different?

What if I'm a unique case?

It can sound like this:

  • It hasn't worked before

  • I've tried so many things

  • I'm too unorganized, scattered, overwhelmed, scared for it to work for me

  • But you don't know my story

  • My whole family would agree with me

  • Some people can't be helped

I'm not buying any of it. I'd felt and thought many of those things myself.

We think something's wrong with us. That our brain is "broken" and doesn't work the way it should.

That our brain doesn't always cooperate and so we're left with these adhd tendencies.

We get easily distracted, feel unmotivated, are scared to fail, are nervous about what people may think, and can't decide.

We clearly can't get a new brain, so there's no hope.

We think same brain = same results. 

BUT what I know to be true is same brain, different thoughts = different results.

We think our brain is the problem, but really it's just our thoughts.

I can teach you how to manage your thoughts.

Click here to book a free 45-minute consultation call with me and let's talk about it.

You Never Have To Feel Overwhelmed Again

Day 10: Overwhelm

savingPNG.jpeg

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you felt stuck and had no idea what to do next?

I remember clearly a time when my day to day activities came to a screeching halt.

Overwhelmed.

The feeling was so hard to manage.

It felt like I was juggling balls while spinning ceramic plates in the air. Slowly I could anticipate each plate dropping one by one while I stood by helpless. Unable to prevent them from hitting the ground.

The feeling felt tight and closed off, like I was holding my breath and clenching my fists.

I could literally hear the sound of plates breaking as they dropped in my mind.

It felt like I didn’t have enough hands to catch them all.

My brain was frozen and no solutions were in sight.

Another image I had during that time was of me floating in an ocean, no land in sight. I didn’t have a life preserver and the water was deep and choppy. It felt like I had been floating for days. I couldn’t tread water any longer. Every now and then I’d sink under and then suddenly bob up gasping for air. It was such a heavy and terrifying feeling.

I remember having both of these images come to me during the day. It was like a daydream (nightmare really). My thoughts were all consuming.

I couldn’t focus.

It felt like tears were on the verge of appearing all of the time.

The pressure was just too much.

I tried to come up with solutions, solve some of the problems.

I thought I just had too much to do and that I needed to adjust my schedule. Cut some things out.

What I know now is that overwhelm is a feeling.

It’s caused by the thoughts that I think.

When I feel it now, I get curious about what I’m thinking. Things like:

*I’ll never get all of this done.

*This feels impossible.

*I’m in over my head.

*I’m losing my mind.

*I’m so overwhelmed.

These thoughts do nothing to help me.

In fact, they keep me spinning.

No matter how much is happening on any given day I can choose how I want to feel about it.

Overwhelmed is never a feeling that I choose on purpose.

Determined, capable, persistent, organized, clear headed, focused.

These are all feelings that bring me forward motion.

How do you want to feel the next time your to-do list is too long?

Hope over to my Facebook page and let me know in the comments!

~Shaun