Day 4: Brain Blaming
I get it.
There are times when because of my adhd brain, I’m in a “this feels impossible and I’ll never get everything done” type of a mood.
Then there are other times when I’m in a “the reason I have all these incredible ideas and am not afraid to go out there and change the world is because of my adhd brain” type of a mood.
There are also times when I’m in more of a “it is what it is, I will keep going no matter” what type of a mood.
Here’s what I’ve learned. While each of those moods feel true on any given day, they are all just thoughts.
Thoughts about my day.
The other thing that I know is that negative thoughts create negative feelings which then creates negative results.
Positive thoughts create positive feelings which create positive results.
Let me show you what I mean. Let’s take a peek at a typical day and my thoughts about it.
Thoughts: I have so much to do. My calendar is packed. I’ll never get this all done. I wish I had more free time. I can’t miss this deadline. I don’t know where to start. What should I do first?
In acutality here are the facts.
Facts: I have 14 things on my planner today. I am planned out from 6am-4pm. I take a one hour lunch. I have a 30 minute walking break with my dog.
Thought: Let’s get to it. Today is the start of something fantastic.
Action: Follow my schedule. Check off my to do list.
Result: Make progress/forward motion
or when I blame my brain and am at the affect of it, it looks more like this:
Facts (stay the same): I have 14 things on my planner today. I am planned out from 6am-4pm. I take a one hour lunch. I have a 30 minute walking break with my dog.
Thought: I’ll never get this all done.
Action: Lolligag, avoid calendar, play game on phone, check facebook, find item on calendar that is the easiest to check off and do that then while doing that one thing, get distsracted by something else in my house that needs to be done (that’s not on my plan)
Result: Day goes by with only one small thing accomplished from my plan
The downside to blaming my “adhd brain” for its lack of focus, attraction to spontaneity and fun, or aversion to being bored, is that I give away all of my power. I believe that my situation is unchangeable because I’m at the effect of my brain.
In that moment I’m essentially choosing to believe that because my brain is wired this way, I just can’t help but to not do the things that I want to do. I’m wired to self-sabotauge. I’m wired for distraction.
Those are just thoughts that I can choose to believe or not.
I’ve found they’re not helpful and so I don’t choose them. There may be some truth to them, but they don’t serve me.
When we blame our brain for the things that we’re not doing in our lives, we are then committing to keeping it that way.
We relinquish control to the part of our brain that wants to feel good and safe all of the time. Rather than gently reminding our brains who’s in charge and that we’ve got it under control.
If you’d like to learn more about managing your thoughts instead of blaming your brain, book a free 45-minute consultation with me and let’s talk about how I can help you. If you’re tired of living in chaos and feeling like it’s controlling you, book an appointment today.