Decide Every Day: Intentions and ADHD

Day 13: Intentions

Decide every day.

Let me put that another way. We GET to decide every day.

That’s what I noticed today.

That even though I spend a bit of time each day working on my mind and thoughts, I still can slide off course. Easily in fact.

I used to think I was indecisive. I had a hard time knowing what I wanted. I would consider things for quite some time before I would commit.

Especially if someone else was involved.

In the instances when it was just me, for example when I had to travel solo for work, or was on a trip to visit my sister on the East Coast, it felt easier. I would do what I wanted to do and had complete clarity around it.

If I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I’d just start somewhere and figure it out.

This past year I’ve done so much work around making strong decisions for myself.

Practicing speaking up.

Practicing knowing what I want.

Practicing following my compass.

Practicing saying yes and figuring out the how after.

Until I didn’t. Until I just stopped.

It’s been a slow quiet slide back into familiar territory, but I realized today that I’d set some intentions that I hadn’t followed through on.

I’d committed to starting a fitness program.

I’d committed to investing in facebook ads.

I’d committed to drinking less chai. (Seriously though, it’s delicious and PACKED with sugar)

I’d committed to a glass of wine every now and then, instead of each night.

I’d committed to 30 blogs in 30 days and made it to day 19 before I stopped.

I decided to be gentle and curious with myself.

Why hadn’t I followed through on these things when I’d already decided to?

I saw new circumstances.

A few minor injuries that have left me feeling frustrated.

Some health scares with hubby that have left me feeling vulnerable.

The logistics of listing a home.

A poisonous thought that I’d let creep in “I can do __________ in spite of __________”

I wanted to blame the circumstances. Because it makes sense. It seemed reasonable.

Until it didn’t.

Here’s the thing. I felt out of integrity with myself. That’s not a good feeling.

I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. I wasn’t practicing what I believe in wholeheartedly. What I know works for me.

Deciding ahead of time and following through.

I spent some time looking at where I was and where I wanted to be.

I’ve decided to course correct. I’m using it as a lesson. Something to be aware of.

No beating myself up. No shame. No “of course this happened it’s what you do”.

None of that.

Just love and gratefulness that I noticed and am back on track.

Where have your intentions slipped? Where do you feel you’ve gone sideways and lost your way?

Guess what? We get to decide every day.

It’s not one and done. Each and every day we get to decide what we want and go get it.

We get to redecide. We HAVE to redecide.

Book a free consultation and let’s talk. It always helps to have a neutral party hear you out and ask meaningful questions. I’d love to help.

~Shaun

Top 3 Reasons To Work With A Life Coach

Day 10: Life Coaching

Today I want to spend a little bit of time sharing what exactly a Life Coach is and why you may want to work with one.

There are times in life when we can all use some outside perspective.

Times when things aren’t quite going as planned, or aren’t quite as clear as we want them to be.

When this happens, a Life Coach can be there to help you create forward motion.

The focus is not on your past, but rather on your present and future.

As a Coach, I am there to ask you powerful questions so that you’re better equipped to make powerful decisions for yourself.

It’s not my job to tell you what to do. It’s my job to help uncover what you’d like to do and why.

I’ve noticed 3 specific times when it can be extremely helpful to work with a Life Coach. Those times are:

1) When you have a specific goal in mind that you’ve been unable to achieve.

2) When you are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain of which direction your life is headed. You look up one day and realize life is passing you by.

3) You’re in a period of transition and wanting clarity around how to navigate the changes.

Let’s take an even closer look at each of these areas, and some specific examples for each.

You have a specific goal in mind that you’ve been unable to achieve.

• You own your own business, but it’s more of a ‘jobby’ then a job. Meaning, you work hard, but have been unable to generate the income that you had hoped to generate.

• You’ve been striving for work/life balance for the past 10+ years and have yet to achieve it. It feels like your days are defined by work and basic daily necessities (laundry, grocery shopping, kids and bill paying). You want more but are unsure of how to find the time.

You are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain of which direction your life is headed. You look up one day and realize life is passing you by.

• You started out with hopes and dreams of what you wanted to be when you grew up. Now here you are grown, with children headed off to college, and uncertain about where your relationship stands, what your purpose is and what’s next.

• Your house is a mess and you feel completely unorganized within your space. You can’t find what you need when you need it. Because of the chaos you miss deadlines, are often running late and feeling unprepared.

You’re in a period of transition and wanting clarity around how to navigate the changes.

• You’re in a relationship and unhappy. You feel frustrated and hopeless because you don’t see the other person changing any time soon.

• You’ve struggled with prioritizing, punctuality, and planning for most of your life. You’ve joked that you’re “so adhd” to friends and family. The problem is that it doesn’t feel very funny. You wonder sometimes if there’s something to it? or maybe you’ve just recently been diagnosed with adhd and you’re not sure what it means. Now what?

I can help. I’ve been there and have navigated those waters myself along with the help of my coach. It’s really changed the way I approach things and how I feel on a daily basis.

As a Life Coach I meet with my clients weekly for 45 minutes.

Our calls are done over Zoom (video conference), are private and can be done from the comfort of your own home. (If you prefer, calls can be done audio only so as not to distract you)

I offer a free 45-minute consultation to help you get started. Taking that first step is the hardest. After that, it’s so nice to have someone that you talk to weekly to clear out your brain, (and course correct if needed) so that you are living life on your terms, the way that you want to.

The 45-minute consultation is my gift to you. If you’re considering coaching, and are ready to invest the time and money to make the changes in life that you’re wanting to make, perfect! Book a call below.

We’ll use the time as a way to determine what you feel the problem is, how I can help and if we’d be a good fit. If you decide to move forward with coaching, we can get started right away and in 3 months you will feel so much better and more in control.

If you decide not to move forward with coaching at this time, no problem. You will have gained some clarity around what it is that you want. You will know what to expect if you decide to work together in the future.

The one thing that’s certain is if you keep going the way you’re going you’ll end up with the same results. The only way to have a different outcome is to try something different.

I’m invested in helping you make a decision for yourself one way or the other, and help you make sure that you like your reason. That in and of itself can be helpful. Coaching works when a person is ready.

If you’re ready, book a session today. ~Shaun

Magnifying Pain With Our Minds

Day 9: Suffering

A few years ago I began having headaches fairly regularly.

My eyes were constantly dry and itchy.

I’d catch myself rubbing my temples in the middle of the day.

This persisted for a number of months.

I’d think - maybe I have allergies.

Maybe I have dry eye sydrome (it’s a thing)

Then it morphed into…

Maybe I have a brain tumor.

Maybe it’s cancer.

Something’s terribly wrong.

I’m not sharing all of this because I’m proud of where my brain went.

In the moment I was terrified. Scared to go to the Dr. Too busy to get to the Dr.

My brain invented all of these stories about what my headaches and symptoms meant.

My brain filled in the blanks where I didn’t know any better.

The unknown is scary and our brains ultimate dream is to become the best horror film writer of all time.

It’s default setting is doom and gloom.

Because it wants to protect us and prepare for the worst.

When I finally went to the Dr., he congratulated me on “officially joining the older and wiser club".

What was wrong?

I needed reading glasses.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve joined this club too.

My brain took it to an extreme because I have a constant low level of “trying to be protective” anxiety at all times.

The pain was literal. My head hurt. My eyes hurt. My eyes were tired.

The suffering was optional. All of the worry I brought on by my unhelpful thoughts.

We do this all the time.

With our kids, our businesses, our spouses, our money, our parent, our siblings, our bosses.

We worry ahead of time about what may be ahead.

We have whatever is going on in the moment that feels like a painful experience, and then we amplify it by thinking things like:

“This shouldn’t be happening.”

“If they loved me this would be different.”

“Why do things like this happen to me?”

All of that is optional.

Look, life is painful. For everyone. In one way or another. It really is. Nobody gets out unscathed.

We don’t have to suffer through the pain. We get to choose how we want to feel about it.

Not sure if you believe me? Let’s talk.