The Truth About Procrastination

Day 20: Procrastination

It can feel like our feet are stuck and we don’t know which direction to go. Unsure of what step to take, we decide to stay still and wait. Procrastinate.

What exactly is procrastination? The definition of procrastination is the putting off or delaying of something.

I’d like to expand on that a little bit.

It’s the putting off or delaying of something that we suspect or know could be good for us in the long run.

Here’s the thing. We never talk about procrastinating on something that is bad for us.

We don’t say things like I’m just procrastinating on smoking 5 packs of cigarettes a day.

I’m just procrastinating gaining 200 lbs.

I’m just procrastinating on being unfaithful.

For those things, we’ve just decided no, or have never considered it.

When we procrastinate it’s typically on something that we have decided at some point would be in our best interest. Something that would help move us closer to something that we want.

In spite of knowing that something is good for us, we don’t start right away.

Going to the Dentist for a routine exam.

Writing a dissertation.

Building a website for our business.

Instead of taking action, we are deciding in one small moment to stay in overwhelm, stuck or still.

A series of these small moments, and decisions keep doing the things that we’ve been doing.

How we do one thing is how we do everything.

When people come to me on a consultation and the main thing that they want to stop doing is procrastinating, then they want to wait until a better time to move forward with me, it’s so telling.

What if they didn’t need to wait until a better time? (ie procrastinate)

What if the answer was to stop procrastinating in one area, so that they learn to stop procrastinating in all areas.

It sounds crazy, but it really does work that way.

It’s learning and practicing the skill of making a decision to not wait.

I have power over procrastination, and believe you can too.

It starts with making a decision for yourself. It starts with deciding you’re no longer a procrastinator. It starts with deciding to move forward before you feel ready. That’s it.

To set up a call with me to learn more about how I can help you conquer procrastination click the button below and book a 45 minute cosultation with me. Start by making a decsion to get help now. Book your free consult. Don’t wait. The procrastinating stops today. ~Shaun

ADHD and Missing the Mark

Day 8: Expectations

Photo by AndrewJShearer/iStock / Getty Images

How many times have you set your ambition towards reaching a goal and come up short?

Felt like you worked your tail off and missed the mark?

Then become discouraged and quit because of thoughts like:

• I’ll never get it right

• I gave it my best shot and it still wasn’t good enough

• I’ve done all that I can do. It’s just not meant to be.

• It’s just different for me. There must be something wrong with me since everyone else is able to do it.

• I’m at my max. capacity. I don’t have anything left to give.

• I don’t know what else I can do.

• I’ll never figure this out.

Here’s what I know about ADHD tendencies. We can hit something new that we’re excited about hard and fast.

Some of the most hard working, dedicated people I know have adhd tendencies. They (ahem, we) have this ability to give it 150% and hyperfocus when they’re excited about the possibility of something new. The potential of something working out, and coming to fruition is intoxicating.

We are full of amazing ideas.

When something doesn’t work out as we imagined, we can lose steam quickly. We can have a tendency to throw in the towel and move on to something more interesting.

Let me ask you this.

What if your ablility to “succeed”, or see something all the way through to what you imagined was possible was solely based on your commitment to stick it out?

What if the only thing that was “off” was our expectation of how much time something should take? (By the way, time blindness is a thing. ADDitutde Magazine defines it as “being unaware of the ticking of time”.

What if what we thought should take 1 month should actually take 1 year?

What if securing 1 new client took 100 offers, instead of 10?

What if cleaning a house took 8 hours instead of 1?

What if graduating from college took 8 years instead of 4?

(Ok confession, for this last example, there are some things that society has suggested. For example typically k-12 = 13 years of schooling…BUT (and this is a big but), for some people it will take 16…and what if that were ok?

What do you make it mean when you miss the intended mark?

What do you make it mean when you thought your business would be full blown up and running and full of customers within 2 years and it’s not? If you make it mean it’s not working, or you’re incapable, you may quit.

What if 3 years was the magic number for you? If you had just continued on for another year you would have realized your dream.

What if it just meant your expectations were just off? Like when your clock is not keeping the correct time. It’s just a technical problem. You reset and adjust the clock. You don’t think it was your fault the clock was wrong.

When we miss the mark, literally, we can have a tendency to think we didn’t even make it on the board.

What if, like in the picture above, we were justs barely off the mark?

What if we were right there and so, so close? Just one more throw away from hitting the target?

One of my go to thoughts when something doesn’t happen as quickly as I expected is, “oh, my expectations were off. Good to know.”

That’s it. End of story. Carry on.

That’s what happens when you decide to commit and stick with something no matter what.

In my experience that is the biggest challenge to overcome when you have adhd tendencies.

Why?

Because there is always something newer and shinier waiting in the wings.

We believe we have very, VERY high expectations of ourselves. We will knock ourselves out doing the thing. Then we believe our brains when they say it’s impossible because we did all we could.

What if we had more in us? What if the missing link was not effort but persistence, consistency. What if the high expectations we had of ourselves just weren’t quite high enough? It took a little more.

What if the ability to constrain your focus to what you chose in the first place, long enough for the shiney object to pass you by, was where dreams were made?

Have a fantastic weekend! ~Shaun

If we haven’t jumped on a 45-minute consultation call yet, why not?! What are you waiting for? Seriously. It’s my goal to give 150% to each and every consult I jump on. (Seriously, it’s what we adhd’ers do) I love people, love talking adhd and sharing resources. My goal with every consult is to help you gain some clarity. Of course if it’s a good fit, I would love to work with you as your coach. But it’s never the driving factor. I am not invested in getting you to say yes to coaching. I’m super invested in getting you to a place where you say yes or no and like your reason. I want to help shift those that are ready to shift. If that’s not you, it’ll just be a helpful call where you gain some clarity that you may not have had. I promise.

Book today and let’s see where it takes us.

Wanting More When You Already Have Enough

Day 12: Wanting

Life's pretty good, I really don't have much to complain about.

My husband and I were in Starbucks one morning not too long ago, and while waiting in line we started chatting with the people around us. We were all talking about how the design of the location had recently changed and it's not as "user friendly" as it used to be. 

The layout is not as nice as it used to be.

The chairs are not as comfy.

The line wiggles through the middle of the seating area.

It just feels less welcoming.

Then we realized it was 11:05am, and they throw out the Blonde roast at 11am!
Oh no! My hubby and another woman next to us both panicked. Now what?! They were both there for the Blonde.

I glanced down to notice that I had chipped a nail (they had been done like 3 days before) and a button had fallen off my coat.

In that moment I laughed out loud, shaking my head and said "first world problems"...as much for me as for anyone. Truly, I have nothing to complain about. Really.

I remember exactly 12 years ago, on 2/27/07 my mom passed away. It was a difficult time for me. She and I had some sweet conversations and during one of them she expressed just how much she wanted just even one more day to spend with us. One more day to spend time with her grandchildren. It was the hardest part of knowing that she was dying.

From that conversation, I decided whenever I was feeling sorry for myself or wanting to complain, I'd remind myself that "somebody somewhere was taking their last breath." It was a reminder to appreciate what I had, and to remind me that there was always someone going through something much worse. 

I was given the gift of ongoing gratitude.

Looking back over the past 12 years, there were definitely times that little reminder came in handy. Times when it really didn't serve me to stay down in the doldrums. 

BUT,

and this is a big but. I also believe that life doesn't have to be awful for you to want more out of it. 

I believe that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made, and sent here with a purpose. If we have things in life that are preventing us from becoming fully who we are meant to be, we owe it to ourselves to explore those things and move those obstacles out of the way.

We are given this one life and we get one chance at living it.

If fear, confusion, procrastination or something that you're not even clear about is holding you back, and preventing you from becoming who you want to be, or from accomplishing what you want to accomplish, it doesn't have to be that way.

I remember when I found my way to my first coach, my primary thought was "I don't know if I even know what a typical day feels like for most people. I want to talk to someone about that." 

I literally told my first coach "I don't even know why I'm here, I just want more."

It felt important. I just wanted some clarity.

I reached out to someone. Booked a free consultation and I've been doing the work on myself ever since.

What I love about that is that as I continue to grow, I'm able to help more and more people. 

By showing up for myself first, I'm able to show up for others.

There is nothing that I would ask of a client that I wouldn't ask of myself.

Wanting, what is it that you want just because you want it?

What are you missing out on by letting that slide by?