Day 9: Negative Thinking
The Urban Dictionary defines the term Catfish as:
“Someone who pretends to be someone else, especially on the internet.”
Have you ever seen the tv show Catfish?
In it MTV and the shows producers try to help people determine if the person that they have been “virtually dating” are real (meaning truthful and honest about who they are) or a “catfish” (someone pretending to be one way online, but in reality are completely different).
I remember being sucked into this show for a minute. It felt entertaining. I was always drawn in by the facade that was presented, and how completely differnt reality sometimes was.
What does this have to do with ADHD you ask? I think the key word is sneaky. Catfish’s are sneaky. They fool people into believing something that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
When we have ADHD tendencies there can be a lot of thoughts. A lot of negative thoughts. These thoughts can often sound pretty.
Thoughts like:
“I’ll start tomorrow.”
This thought sets you up to procrastinate. One of the primary things that we struggle with when we have adhd is putting things off. Keep in mind, while you may not feel like doing something today, anything that can be done today that will move you closer to your goal will help. Why wait?
“I do better when I multi-task.”
This can feel true sometimes. The truth is, none of us do better when we multi-task. Things take longer to accomplish because we are stopping and starting and needing to get back up to our rhythm each time we switch our focus. Telling yourself this just makes you feel better in the moment, but can hurt you in the long run.
“Some of my best work happens in the final hours.”
A hard deadline can be helpful in pushing (forcing) you to get something done. Why? Because there’s no other option. It does not mean it’s your best work. What if you created the sense of urgency ahead of time, on the front end? You would then have time in the final hours to review and make any changes. You’d also release a lot of the stress that comes with butting up against a deadline.
“I’m a sprinter not a marathoner.”
This sounds fancy. It sounds well thought out. What if it was just an excuse to accommodate your current work style? A way to accomodate a work style that isn’t helping you reach your goals? It sounds like a pretty thought, but is anything but pretty. It can actually hold you back.
“Friends and family always come first.”
Again, this sounds so nice. But what if by always being available for others, you are never available for yourself? Never showing up for yourself the way you show up for others. What if that’s what’s required for you to become a better version of yourself?
Thoughts that are negative often can sound pretty. It’s our brains way of keeping us the same. Maintaining the status quo. I’ve coined a term for this. I call it thoughtfishing. When our negative thoughts pretend to be pretty. It’s harmful because it feels good in the moment, but ultimately keeps us from reaching our dreams.
Tell me, have you experienced this? What is your go to thoughtfish? ~Shaun
