Stop Spinning: How to Take Action That Moves You Forward

Day 17: Spinning

Have you ever felt like you’re spinning?

Spinning in indecision.

It is a common action that I see happening with my clients.

They will feel an emotion like worry, confusion, doubt or overwhelm, and when we look at the actions that they’re taking from that place, spinning is often one of them.

It’s the feeling like you’re going in circles, ruminating, not really clear on which way to go next.

This word spinning got me to thinking about other actions (actually inactions) that are similar to this.

Actions like worrying, pondering, wondering, waiting, self-sabotaging, avoiding, postponing and hoping.

When I look at all of these actions through the same lens, they have one thing in common.

They are indulgent in that they feel like you’re doing something, yet you’re really not.

They feel very active. When in fact they are all passive. And, they don’t get you any closer to your goal.

When you think of a washing machine on the spin cycle, you can see the drum spinning around and around.

The clothes stay in the same spot, they just keep goin’ ‘round.

Don’t get stuck in a spin cycle.

When you set a goal and have a destination in mind for yourself, notice when you feel like you’re taking action or really busy, but getting nowhere.

It could be that you’re indulging in action that isn’t actually helpful. It could be that you’re taking action that delays having to do something that will be super uncomfortable.

Actions like worrying, pondering, wondering, waiting, self-sabotaging, avoiding, postponing and hoping.

They’re not helpful.

If you’re going to move, you may as well move towards something you want or away from something you don’t want, rather than in circles getting nowhere.

Do you have some big lofty goals for yourself that you’re having trouble reaching? Set up a free 45 minute consultation with me and we can take a look at what may be keeping you stuck. I can teach you how to get unstuck. I’d love to talk with you. ~Shaun

What is High Functioning ADHD?

Day 4: High Functioning ADHD

So many of the women I work with have felt this way.

I did.

You may not really even know what ADHD is, but you HAVE had a sneaking suspicion that you kinda, sorta are ADD some of the time.

You may be forgetful, even when you don't want to be, or when you have the best of intentions.

You may have a hard time coming up with a word you're looking for in a conversation. Often feeling like something that you want to say is "on the tip of your tongue, but just out of reach"

You may find yourself in situations where had you remembered ahead of time, you could have taken care of something one way, but because you remembered at the very last minute (just in the nick of time) you had to come up with a creative solution to get the job done. (Also known as McGyvering)
 

If these things sound familiar, you may be a person (myself included) that I lovingly refer to as having high functioning ADHD.

For the longest time, you may have moved along through life pretty well, and then it seemed that out of the blue, something happened and you felt less able to cope. Less able to manage all of the moving parts of this day to day thing we call life.

If you look at two specific groups,

1) those that are diagnosed with ADHD and have had symptoms of it throughout much of their life (often diagnosed in childhood and often treated with medication), and

2) those that do not have ADHD or its symptoms,

You may think to yourself on the one hand "well, I don't really feel like I fit into either group. I don't think I need medication. I have managed to get along pretty well in life. I'm not hyperactive. I can hold down a job. I can focus sometimes. It's not THAT bad."

On the other hand, you know that you struggle more than those around you with details and organization.

You may

• be time-challenged

• have a hard time focusing on certain types of work

• catch yourself running up and down the stairs 4-5 times forgetting what you went up for each time.

• read the same page of a book multiple times, each time reaching the bottom and wondering what it was you just read (that is if you read books at all!)

• have so many projects started and not many finished.

You just don't fit in a neat tidy box.

You're quirky and unique and a bit unorthodox. You're creative and personable and very often kind. (More about this in another blog post.)

What does that mean about you and ADHD?

Chances are if you've felt overwhelmed, scattered, forgetful, stuck, distracted, unorganized, confused and you've Googled anything about ADHD you may have high functioning ADHD.

It's not an "official" term mind you.

It just means that you experience the common symptoms of ADHD, but maybe to a lesser degree than those that have been diagnosed. You may very well have ADHD (you should always talk to your Dr. if you suspect that is the case and want to seek out a formal diagnosis.)

So what now? 

• ADHD is all about managing your mind - The tools that you use to manage your mind will be different depending on the degree that your life is affected.

• Nothing's broken. Every person on the planet has to manage their mind, lest it get the better of them. Some of us need to manage it a little more than others.

• The label is helpful if it helps you, and not helpful if it doesn't. Knowing that ADHD affects the part of your brain responsible for making decisions and organizing and prioritizing and remembering is why it's helpful to know about it. It can give context to what you may be experiencing. That's all.

Tell me, what are your thoughts?

If you suspect you may be struggling with ADHD type of symptoms and wpuld like someone to talk to to sort it all out. Let’s jump in a call! We jump on Zoom, from the comfort of your own home. You tell me your story and ask me any questions. I’m completely at your service for 45 minutes.

The only way to change things is to try something different. 

Click here to book a free mini-session.

Time Challenges and ADHD Tendencies

Ask anyone who struggles with ADHD tendencies, and they are sure to tell you that the concept of time can be challenging.

In fact, not just the concept of time but being on time, scheduling time, prioritizing things, knowing the length of time something will take, how long it will take to get somewhere, how long it will actually take to get out the door, how much can be done in a certain amount of time, how to spend time that is suddenly "extra", the list goes on.

A big part of the reason for that struggle is because of what's known as our Executive Function (EF). Executive Function is a group of mental processes that help us to get things done. They help us to organize, plan and connect the dots between our past and experiences and our present. Estimating time, awareness of the passing of time and prioritizing all fall under the management of our (EF).

If we look more closely at the awareness of time, for the "neuro-typical" aka "non-adhd" brain, time moves along a line, like a timeline. There are hours, minutes, days, weeks, months and years that are considered. For the "ADHD tendency" brain, time tends to move in a circle. There are really only two measurements of time, now and not now. Because of this, people with ADHD tendencies can have a difficult time grasping the concept of time and tend to have trouble judging how quickly it's passing. In the "not now" period, nothing is urgent. There is plenty of time. When suddenly something moves into the "now" period, everything becomes an emergency and panic mode can set in. Any of this sound familiar?

Many of my clients are super hard workers that are committed to getting things done. Where things can get messy is in determining how long it will take to get it done. A new project will come their way that they are very excited about. They often have the best of intentions and may think faster is better, many of them can be very detail oriented and are aware of their tendency to get trapped in the weeds. Because of this they may err against that tendency and commit to completing something sooner than is possible. They often commit without having any real sense of how long it should take. That "sense" of time can just be off. 

One simple strategy to help with this is to guesstimate how long something will take-either how long it will take to complete it, or how long it will take to get somewhere etc. Once you come up with a length of time, DOUBLE IT! That's right, times two. This simple step alone will start to shift you into the time-awareness zone and out of the twilight zone! Once you do that, pay attention on the back end of things and ask yourself: 

How was my timing?

Did I allow too much time? Not enough time?

Would I do it the same next time?

While we're talking about time, there's no time like the present! Why don't you take a quick second and book a 30 minute mini-session with me? If you could wake up tomorrow and feel differently or do something differently, what would it be?

There's no commitment, and I know that coaching can help. I'd love to hear what you're struggling with and offer some help. Things can get better starting right now.