broke

Why Having ADHD Can Make You Feel Like You’re Broken

Day 11: Broken

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I've talked to a lot of people.

On consults, in coaching sessions.

The most common question that people don't ask is,

but what if I'm broken?

What if my brain's broken?

What if coaching won't help me?

What if I'm just too different?

What if I'm a unique case?

It can sound like this:

  • It hasn't worked before

  • I've tried so many things

  • I'm too unorganized, scattered, overwhelmed, scared for it to work for me

  • But you don't know my story

  • My whole family would agree with me

  • Some people can't be helped

I'm not buying any of it. I'd felt and thought many of those things myself.

We think something's wrong with us. That our brain is "broken" and doesn't work the way it should.

That our brain doesn't always cooperate and so we're left with these adhd tendencies.

We get easily distracted, feel unmotivated, are scared to fail, are nervous about what people may think, and can't decide.

We clearly can't get a new brain, so there's no hope.

We think same brain = same results. 

BUT what I know to be true is same brain, different thoughts = different results.

We think our brain is the problem, but really it's just our thoughts.

I can teach you how to manage your thoughts.

Click here to book a free 45-minute consultation call with me and let's talk about it.

What To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed and Broke

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Did you know that the same culprit is at work when you're feeling overwhelmed and broke? Any idea what that culprit is?

Your thoughts!

Yes, your thoughts. Here's why that's important to know when you have ADHD tendencies. 

The problem is that when you struggle with ADHD tendencies, there are SO.MANY.THOUGHTS.

All of the time.

Did I mention all of the time? They just keep coming.

Thoughts are a double-edged sword.

When they are creative and positive, they help us feel fantastic and move us into productivity with our superhero like problem-solving ability. When they are negative and out of control, they can bring the strongest superwoman to her knees. They can sabotage everything just by showing up, swirling around and going unnoticed.

As you may already know, those of us gifted with non-neurotypical brains are the creative problem solvers of the world. We have this incredible ability to come up with solutions where none seemingly exist.

In fact, I've been told by a friend, that if the end of the world were here and we had to divide into teams to survive, she'd want to be on my team because she's seen my brain in action under pressure. It's something that I now embrace. A unique part of who I am. Us "tendency" people, we tend to do best under pressure. It's why you'll find many an ADHD tendency mind in careers such as firefighting, EMTs, Navy Seals, Entrepreneurs etc. The higher risk associated with these fields actually fits perfectly with the way our brains work. The adrenaline can pull us right into our sweet spot! Are you a person that loves a challenge? That plays into this too.

That's all fantastic but, remember, there is that dark side of thoughts too.

Let's go back to feeling overwhelmed and broke for a minute. These are two issues that many of my coaching clients struggle with. While there are things that are ADHD tendencies that contribute to the feeling of overwhelm, for example, the sheer number of thoughts happening at any given moment, the difficulty of prioritizing when you have an uncooperative Executive Function, the number of exciting distractions all around us (Ooh look a squirrel!), the truth is, the actual feeling of overwhelm comes from a thought or thoughts that we are thinking. 

Let's look at feeling broke. You do realize the word or condition of feeling broke is relative right?

I mean one womans broke is another womans aspiration and vice versa. Sure there are times you have less money in the bank, you are late on a credit card payment, you may not have enough to pay the bills, but when you really look at it, the feeling of broke comes from a thought that you are having about those things. Some of those thoughts sound like:

"I don't have enough"

"I should have more"

"I'm so bad with money" 

This is helpful to know for a few reasons. The main one is that we always want to blame a situation or person for how we feel. You may think you feel overwhelmed because your kids make a mess throughout the house and you can't keep up, or your boss expects you to get more done than you are able, or the daily demands of your life are too many and too hard to keep up with. It's your thoughts about all of that that is making you feel overwhelmed. 

You may think you're feeling broke because you're undervalued and not paid enough, or the cost of living is too high, or your ex didn't pay their child support. It's your thoughts about all of those things that is causing you to feel broke. 

The good news is that thoughts are in your control. All of those other things are not.

Not sure if you believe me? Book a 30-minute coaching consultation and let's take a look at what you're feeling and how you can make it better.